Feminism For Dummies

Ok, so this post is very slightly off the blogs topic, but its in my brain and I need to get it out. ..

In the last year or so my interests have slightly broadened to more than TOWIE and McDonalds, I've learned some stuff about politics and that, how the country works, and for years now I've been pretty passionate about the Gay Rights and Feminist debates. Recent events, both personal and international have caught my attention regarding the feminism debate in particular, and sadly it seems there are still some stupid knobs out there that need to be majorly educated on what Feminism actually is.

There seems to be a lot of shame surrounding the word feminism. It seems to conjure up an image of a middle aged, man hating, fat lesbian in an RE teachers jumper and baggy ill fitting trousers with a spiky haircut. This first of all (LOL) is not the case. Although I'm sure there are actually feminists who do look like that, and a lot of gay women will be feminists too, feminists do not hate men. I'm a feminist and I fucking LOVE men. Yum yum. Give me ALL of the men. What we do hate is that we cant wear a short skirt without society telling us we look like a slut, or we are 'asking to be raped'. We cant do what we want with our bodies, have sex with the people we want to - like a man can - if we are not in a long term relationship without being called easy. Which I have NEVER understood, because guys, you clearly love sex and can have as much of it as you wan't and get high fived - if there weren't like minded chicks out there who were happy to have (safe consensual) casual sex, who would you be getting it from? Either stop being promiscuous yourselves, or pipe down with the slut shaming or you aint getting ANY BITCH! We can't be a plumber or a mechanic without people raising eyebrows because they are 'men's professions'. I will explain it simply for those mentally challenged people out there who just don't seem to understand - we just want to have the choice to do all the same things that men can do. We don't think we are better than men. We don't hate men. Some of us even wan't to be that perfect housewife with a man who goes out to work while we look after the kids and the house, we just want to know there are other options out there if we wanted them. ITS SO BLOODY SIMPLE, MY GOD.

The #IAmNotAFeminist hash tag that recently went around on social media both makes me lol and makes me very, very sad. It was an idea that started because some dumb girl came to the conclusion that people who claim feminism is about equality (WHICH IT IS) are wrong because it doesn't recognize the struggles men have to deal with, like getting raped in prison and not winning custody of their children in divorces - which are obviously big issues that absolutely need to be addressed... BUT LET ME EXPLAIN SOME SHIT TO YOU HONEY. The feminist movement was started in a time women were not allowed to vote, when they weren't allowed to work, when they weren't allowed to be a homeowner, when it was completely LEGAL for your husband to RAPE you. Lets hear you say you're not a feminist when all that gets taken away from you. People actually died for your rights to do those things, you bloody ignorant CRETIN. It is called FEMinism because it was a movement that started about the equality of WOMEN in a time when there was absolutely NONE. We were basically like our husbands pet dog.

We have won a hell of a lot of the battles and I feel totally privileged to live in a time I am allowed to do all of those things as a woman because of someone elses' hard work and sacrifice. We still have a long way to go, however times have changed hugely, and now we have so many of the same rights as men feminists are largely willing to acknowledge inequalities men have and fight for those too. However a man doing the same job as a woman in a lot of industries will still get paid more, and 'slut shaming' still exists. Until there is complete equality in areas such as these, and many more, there is still a reason for feminism to exist. I absolutely, completely 100% wholeheartedly agree that the issues to do with mens inequality need to be addressed and made more widely known and combated once and for all, but essentially, it is actually a different battle - and maybe give that battle a name, I don't know, but don't hate on feminists just because it WAS given a bloody name. And actually, thinking about it, I'm pretty sure that discriminatibg a man because of his gender is still sexism, so it ALREADY has a name. Pipe down. 

These people fight for equality overall these days, as womens struggle in society has, thankfully, decreased so much. I can be pretty sure if they feel that passionately about womens rights, they will feel the same about human rights in general, and every bracket that falls under that.

I feel like a lot of women are scared to admit they are a feminist, or aren't even AWARE that they are a feminist because of the man hating, fat lesbien stereotype. That stereotype needs to get the eeeeeeeeeeff out, and we all need to embrace the word, guys and girls. I mean if you're a boy and you're not a total c-bomb and you're not from the 1950's, I hate to break it to you but you're probably a feminist too mate. And girls, don't be afraid of it because you're scared saying you support feminism will scare a guy off - I mean lad's, dating a feminist is pretty awesome. They'll probably pretty sexually secure (and will fuck a lot). They're most likely pretty intelligent and educated. They're probably compassionate, passionate, with a free spirit. They will probably want to pay for dinner. And for those reasons they're probably pretty fun too. I mean, I'd date me...

And yes, they probably can still cook and clean and make you a sandwich too, they might just expect you to return the fucking favour sometimes. That's literally it. That's it. Not so awful is it. JESUS.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I feel so good now that's out of my brain and onto my laptop screen. There is more to come on this topic, but I shan't bore you with it now. I'm sure you political people can pick plenty of holes in my argument, but please save your energy and my time, and kindly fuck off. Thank you ever so much in advance.

I make writing this post about 5 billion adult points for me, so I will spend the rest of the week eating microwave meals, watching reality TV, not opening my post and burying my head in the sand when it comes to grown up things, because I've earned it. No more adulting this week. I'm exhausted.

YOU guys carry on though, you're doing a smashing job. Happy adulting x



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How Do I Tinder - Part One

I will start by apologizing to any family members reading this (except Aisling, you fucking love it) and also any family friends. Not that any of you are under the impression I'm any kind of perfect angel, (HAHAHA) but I doubt you will want to read about my various experiences with trashy Tinder men. In fact, just stop reading now. Thanks.

So. By now I think I should be some kind of Tinder expert, I think I could probably write a dissertation on it. Yet after a year and a half of vigorous tindering I am apparently yet to master the art, as alas, I sit here alone with a beer, a fag and my cat. I'm basically Bridget Jones, just 10 years younger. Cheers!

After an extremely bizarre final Tinder date (which I am sure I will write about another time), I have actually taken the plunge and shakily and hesitantly deleted the app. I am in recovery, three weeks Tinder free. There have been ups and downs, nights when I've been left alone unsupervised and nearly relapsed. But here I am, and though at one time I couldn't imagine life without my sweet sweet daily fix, I feel so much better, I feel healthy, I feel free.

Anyone who knows me and wasn't aware of that, I know, I know, it's utterly shocking and you never thought you'd see the day. Close your mouth.  The original idea for my blog was actually going to be about my 'colourful' Tinder experiences, however I swiftly decided against this because I realised nobody would date me if they knew I would write a blog about them for everyone to laugh at afterwards. And that would also mean the skeletons of my dating closet would be out for the whole world to see, when they belong firmly padlocked in that closet. Forever. Like Hozier says, future husband, you shouldn't care none about what my hands and my body's done. PREACH HOIZY!

So, I will fill you in with but a few of my most colourful Tinder experiences, for now I'll condense it to the best and the worst...

Naturally I'll start with the worst. DISCLAIMER - I am not being a total bitch here, this dude does not have me on Facebook and will never read this, so I can be as brutal as I want, and besides I'm pretty sure the feeling was more than mutual. We will call him... Tom. Tom's profile was quite artsy and intriguing, a lot of black and white photos and tartan scarves etc, he definitely caught my eye. He had this strong bone structure and serious look constantly on his face in all his pictures. He wore specs, the kind of geeky specks that pretentious dicks in Camden (who I totally get wet for by the way) have made sexy. They were round with tortoiseshell boarders. He had black floppy hair, and this look in his eye that said one of two things - either 'I am looking into your soul right now, reading you like a book while simultaneously undressing you' or 'I'm a fucking serial killer, run'. I think I've made him sound pretty hot, but I do have to admit he had the kind of face that personality was going to determine which way it went. He was either going to be unbelievably sexy or be a creepy pedophile. Think Ryan Gosling... Kind of fucked up looking but has the potential to be (and in his case is) SO HAWT. You get what I mean now? Yeahhhh... So we started chatting and much to my joy he turned out to be a writer, a photographer and an artist. That level of pretension is more than enough to get me going, like seriously get this girl a mop and bucket. And he had this way of writing messages that made me feel like I was a character in a 50's romance novel, talking to a mysterious, hopeless, sexy, failing artist who was subtly pursuing me. I was utterly convinced he was going to be my Ryan Gosling. 

He asked me to meet him under the London Eye after work one Monday, and who could say no to something that romantic right! So there I was sitting on a bench underneath the London Eye, looking out over the Thames planning our wedding (hahaha kiddinnnnnng), and I see a figure out of the corner of my eye. 'Thophia', a voice says. I look up. I see a rather boney, approximately 5'5 man in a an extremely posh suit, wearing leather gloves and carrying a briefcase and one of those expensive black business mans umbrellas. He didn't just write like he was from the 50's, he looked like he actually WAS from the 50's. And no, 'Thophia' was not a typo, he had a pretty serious lisp too. I just wanted to say 'No. No I am not Sophia... Good day Sir!' and get up and RUN. And don't get me wrong here, (as much as it sounds like it) this was NOT just about how he looked. He had this extremely bizarre way about him, he was standing in front of me with one arm outstretched for me to take his hand, and the other folded behind his back. Like, what? What the fuck? Why are you doing that.
I gave him as big a smile as I could muster because I didn't want to be rude, and got up to give him an extremely awkward kiss on the cheek. He awkwardly walked me to the very expensive OXO tower where he had booked us a table and then he probably spent about £40 on two cocktails. I will not go into too much detail about the date, other than I literally cringed for the entire hour, I couldn't stop fidgeting, and I don't think I made eye contact with him once, we kept misunderstanding each-others humor and then sitting in silence, and it was just HORRIBLE. I am probably the least awkward person in the world - like I could make conversation with a fish, and any other bad date I've been on where I knew there was no chemistry, I've managed to see it out and make decent conversation and generally quite enjoyed it, even though there's that tinge of disappointment that I'm not getting a shag. (Sorry Mum)
This was next level. I've never been so polar oppositely different to anyone in my life, or felt such a strong longing to leave anywhere, ever. I would rather be stuck in a lift with a human sized turd than live through that date again. And just when I thought I had managed to escape, he insisted on walking me 20 minutes back to the station, (I'm sure just to be a gentleman as there was no way he was enjoying himself) and we filled this time arguing about whether Southwark station was linked to Waterloo East station. Needless to say, we said a horribly awkward goodbye, and we never spoke again. Except for when I sent him a picture of the Jubilee line tube map to prove that Southwark IS in fact linked to Waterloo East station. He was a nice man and utterly harmless and really quite sweet - but so not for me, and I was so not for him either. I think he thought I was mildly retarded.

Sooooo that story went on for a lot longer than I anticipated, so lets call this part one of my colourful Tinder experiences, I'll give you a positive experience for next time.

Dating is hard, but never give up hope - do however give up Tinder. There is no hope on Tinder, it just eats your soul. And also, you get messages like this.

No, I didn't find that message on the internet, that was genuinely sent to me.

Happy dating peeps, and happy adulting x 

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Sexy Pittas

So as it is the last week before payday - I am obviously broke. Broke to the point I had to withdraw the last bit of money left in my account so my phone bill doesn't come out and leave me foodless. So no more pret for lunch this week. Instead I did a little ASDA haul and have been putting together my own delicious lunches. 

The preparation element of making lunches to take to work is the main thing that puts me off because well - I'm really fucking lazy. So instead what I did was take all the bits to work and assemble it at lunch time. That gives me more time in the evenings to watch youtube videos and write stupid blogs 👍🏻

So for lunches this week I will be having pitta breads with various meat and salad fillings - all you need is:

-Wholemeal Pittas - £50p

-Salad of your choice, I chose...

Packet of 6 tomatoes - 80p

RIPE Avocado. It's like fucking Russian roulette you never actually know if its ripe until its too late and you've cut the bastard open - £1

Bag of lettuce - £1

Half cucumber - 30p

-Cheese, I went for the cheap £1 brie. Winning

-MEAT - I splashed out on half a rotisserie chicken which was £3 and it lasted two days, but you can get ham for like a quid.

-French salad dressing £1 - MUCH better than mayo or salad cream, trust

If you have an apetite like mine these need to be pretty frigging hearty or you're just going to be starving, so thats why I got quite a lot of fillings, but you can do this for much cheaper than I did. But I'm a pig, so everything on my list was obviously completely necessary. 

So that's a week's worth of lunches for just over £8. That's what I normally spend daily! And God damn, these are gooooooood. I hate bland food, and this is not bland - its the french dressing that really takes it from a 6 to a 10. Plus it's filling, and its healthy. Except the brie but whatevs, cheese is my religion, it's worth the clogged arteries. 

Another amazing and super cheap work lunch idea is pasta. A lot of people don't seem to be aware of this, but you can cook pasta in a microwave. Put the pasta in a bowl, cover it in boiling water from the kettle and stick it in the MW for 10-12 mins, drain, pop the sauce of your choice on top, stir and pop back in the microwave for 30 seconds to a minute. BOOM. A big bag of pasta in ASDA is 99p, and I resent spending more than a quid on pasta sauce. That will last at least 3 meals, more if you have smaller portions than me, so that's at least 3 days worth of lunches for 2 fricking quid. Genius. 

This week I've cleaned my room and made my own lunch for 3 days in a row  - I make that about a million adult points for me. High five! Unfortunately I probably need some adult points deducted for hitting a solid 7 on the hangover scale today. We had work do last night and I took full advantage of the free wine, thinking I was being really super well behaved and grown up I only had one in the pub afterwards and came straight home. I then wondered at 11pm why I was throwing up my super noodles after my super grown up behavior and failed to remember I polished off at least 6 glasses of free wine before the pub. Oopsie. Cathy if you're reading this you can't be cross because I came to work and don't pretend you knew I was hungover because you totally did not. (Cathy's my boss hehe)

Let me know your super ideas for work lunches, because I always need foodspiration, now I'm off to enjoy my hair of the dog and watch TOWIE. #Life

Happy adulting x

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How Do I Hangover

Because life is generally a bigger bitch than Regina George, it seems all the best things in this world eventually have a detrimental effect on you. Sadly, there really is too much of a good thing, I mean...

Food makes you fat

Sex gets you pregnant

The sun burns your skin

Shopping makes you poor

Too much sleep makes you even more tired (which I never have and never will understand)

And finally, alcohol makes you hungover

I mainly cope with my miserable failure at being a grown up in two ways  - eating my feelings, and drinking until I forget my problems. And one of the greatest pleasures of adult life is a big, fat fucking drink. A freezing cold, bitter, crisp gin and tonic with freshly squeezed tangy lime on a boiling hot summers day, a glass of full flavored, delicious red wine with your roast beef, a fucking Jager bomb on a night out because you need to get shitfaced quicker, whatever the occasion, alcohol is wonderful. It calms people down on stressful days, it gives people the confidence they need to talk to that cute guy or girl, it helps the less attractive get laid. But of course with that wonder comes the hangover.

Today is Sunday, which by association means I am hungover. Generally my hangovers either involve a lot of puking, or a lot of 'whyyyyyyyy, WHYYYYY DID I DO THAT' *burys head in hands*. I think I've experienced pretty much every type of hangover there is, so I thought I would share with you my findings on how best to deal with each different type of hangover.

The Still Pissed Hangover

If you wake up still drunk, you're probably going to be feeling pretty fucking good. You will still be able to laugh about the fact you kissed your ex boyfriends best mate, and you puked up your McDonald's in the hallway on your way in. The world will still be a beautiful, wobbly, wonderful place. Embrace this time, as you are a mere few hours away from feeling like you're going to DIE. If you drank enough to still feel drunk in the morning, you're in for one hellllllllll of a hangover. My advice would be maximize your damage control in this still drunk time. Down water. Down all the water you can get your hands on, put your head underneath the tap if it saves time. Get some food in you to soak up whatever is left in your system, and DO NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP. You will wake up feeling a bajillion times worse. You need to ride this shit out, and besides there is not time to sleep because you will be too busy drinking water. Re hydrate like a MF or its going to feel like your brain is going to fall out of your nose every time you move later.

The Vomit Apocalypse Hangover

This is unfortunately my most frequent hangover. I literally have no advice for this hangover. All you want to do is die, and it kind of feels like you are going to. Again get that water in you, as even though you will throw it back up pretty much immediately, it dilutes the stomach bile taste. Yummy, I know. Also, whatever you do, do not take painkillers until you know you're done with the vomming. This piece of advice comes from personal experience, throwing up half digested paracetamol tastes like chewing on a battery. Also, stay well, well away from any food or drink you like. Having chocolate milk in reverse is kind of off putting, like off putting for life. It came out of my nose. And finally, if you throw up more than like 10 times, you probably have alcohol poisoning and should go to Hospital or something.

The 'My Head is Going To Explode' Hangover

Waking up with a killer head ache is the worst. Pop some pills, down that water and stay still in a dark room until you stop feeling like someone is inside your head, trying to smash their way out with a hammer. Once the pain has dimmed down enough for you to move, have something to eat, it helps. Once that headache is gone and you're re hydrated you're over the worst. Unfortunately for me, this kind of hangover also makes me puke. Yay.

The 'I Need To Eat Everything Immediately Hangover'

Just do it. Eat it all. Order a Dominoes, and when the person at the end of the phone asks what you want, say 'Everything'. You'll want something savory, all of the crisps and the cheese and the carbs, and then the next second you'll want ice cream and chocolate and Haribo and all the sweets. It's OK, just do it. You can go for a run tomorrow. And it is also completely acceptable to have two take aways in one day when you feel like this. I have to say though, even though all you want is bacon and grease and carbs and junk, and it will feel amazing when you're shoving it all in your face, some veg would actually make you feel way better way quicker. Maybe throw something green into the mix when you're done with that KFC.

The 'I've Embarrassed Myself So Badly, I Need To Move To China' Hangover

I have been there. If you are reading this and you knew me in college, or anytime of my life since the age of about 15 actually, my God, you know I have been there. More times than I care to, or in some cases can remember. It happens. We all pee in phone boxes when we are too drunk to try and figure out where the nearest toilet is. We all snog wrong-ens when we have our beer goggles on. Sometimes people even wake up next to said wrong-ens. Not me though, I've definitely never done that, Mum. Promise. No matter how bad it seems, people will eventually forget, and life will go on. I am speaking so much from experience here! Sadly for me that means anyone who's reading this that knows me, will now be re-living and probably leaving comments about all the things I've done. Cheers guys. 

The 'Oh I Don't Actually Feel That Bad' Hangover

Never happened to me. Fuck you people.

My body is completely intolerant to alcohol, in that I'll be drunk after two drinks (which earned me the catchy nickname 2 beers Bailey in college) and my hangover will always be utterly retched. I never learn though, just last night I had a little party for one before I went to meet my friends which involved 90s gangster rap and a bottle of prosecco, which I'm sure is to blame for the state in now. It seems no one ever learns, which is again solid evidence that alcohol is fucking great. People universally agree its worth the suffering. 

I would like to end with some wise words from Big Bailey - my sister Petra. She once said to me that you wake up the morning after a night out, and two things will cross your mind..

'Thank God I'm alive' and 'Thank God I'm alone'

And hey, one out of two ain't bad.

Happy adulting x

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Hey! Dirt-ay! Baby I Got No Money, I Am Worried...

If you are anything like me, this will sum you up pretty well:

I have a horrible habit of spending money like I'm a millionaire after I get paid. Though I always resent spending more than a pound on anything edible in the supermarket when I do a food shop, I think a packet of 200 candles for a fiver is an absolute bargain. I'm more than happy to spend £4 on a coffee every morning, £10 on a packet of cigarettes daily, and never think twice about splurging out on 10 cocktails at Be@One on a Tuesday. My logic is completely backwards, like how dare you try and charge me £3 for a delicious packet of chicken breasts! That is fucking outrageous, do you think I'm MADE OF MONEY- ooh look, a packet of 20 poisonous sticks that you light on fire for more than three times as much as chicken! YES PLEASE! As a result I then live on pasta and bread alone for the last three weeks of the month. So here are a few tips to adult better than me...

1. Don't smoke

2. If you have to smoke, smoke rollies, they're cheap, and also a pain in the fucking arse, and if you're lazy like me that means you smoke less, which in turn saves you more money.

3. Don't drink

4. If you have to drink, only buy things on offer YAY FOR £3 BOTTLES OF WINE! If you get them cold enough then you don't even notice taste the bitter, anti-freeze like aftertaste 

5. Don't get an overdraft

6. If you have to get an overdraft - JUST DON'T. DON'T FUCKING DO IT, IT'S TOO LATE FOR ME! SAVE YOURSELVES.

7. Make your own lunch

8. If you cant be bothered to make your own lunch like me, then these:

Thank you Jesus.

I have also discovered a few amazing apps that have saved my broke ass many a time, and perhaps could save yours too.

Vouchercloud:

This app is FAB. It has deals and discounts on all sorts - hairdressers, shops, restaurants, plus its started doing online discounts now too, and it has competitions to win free vouchers and days out. It's free to download so why would you not! Get it. Now.

o2 Priority:

If you're on o2 like me, and all the other best people are, you need to get the o2 priority app. It's the same kind of stuff as Vouchercloud. Free shit, discounted shit - BUT it also does priority gig tickets. I'm sure you all know this already, so I will stop. But what I would say is check it daily, because some deals are only available certain days of the week, and they do update it quite regularly. And one more thing - DO NOT be taken in by the Monday £1 pizza lunch deal at Dominoes. I almost shat my pants with excitement waiting for my delicious greasy pepperoni pizza on Monday, only to be handed a button size box of soul crushing disappointment. It's barely big enough to fill the stomach of a new born baby. Waste of time. And your pound - I had to spend a further £4 on snacks afterwards so it really defeated the object.

LetYaNo

I've only really recently discovered this one, and it. Is. Awesome. You get free stuff or discounts for filling out like three questions about the service you receive. Me and my housemate legit had an entire free meal each on it. It finds your location, and then participating bars, restaurants and shops in your area, and even gives you a map of how to get there! Plus the more you use it the more rewards you get. SHAMAZE!

My main concern in life is food, it's where a huge majority of my salary goes. Give me all the Dominoes, curry, McDonalds and KFC I can eat (which is a LOT). If any of my friends ask if I want to go out I don't seem to have a function in my brain that can say no, even when I only have like 20 bucks left to last me 2 weeks. So these apps are great for that, because even though I cant say no, I can save a bunch of $$$. But if you're interests are marginally broader than mine, you can subscribe to www.wowcher.co.uk or www.groupon.co.uk - they email you daily with deals on everything from gym memberships to going on sky dives! Wowcher is a little more girly, they do a lot of beauty deals but Groupon is more of an all rounder. 

It gets very easy to start ignoring their emails because they come through so often, but if you have a meet up with a pal coming up in the near future, keep your eye on them, because the deals are amazing and they have some pretty original ideas for activities.

I have a ton more money saving bits to write about, but I wont now, because I'm boring myself and probably you too. If you know of any other good discount stuff let me know, because I am very, very poor. And if someone could invent an app that gets you a discount on cigs and wine that would be GREAAAT thankssssss.

Cheers all for reading, and all your support from my last post, I was so excited about all the feedback I couldn't sleep and got in trouble at work the next day cos my boss thought I was hungover. Worth it.

Happy adulting x

An Introduction to Attempting to Manage Adult Life

My name is Sophia, I'm 22 and I'm potentially London's worst twenty-something. Although on the surface I look like I'm doing OK; I have a well-paid job for someone my age with no degree, I have a cool place, great friends, and a cute cat... I find the fact I have to pay bills, go to work, buy boring stuff like soap and bog roll with my own hard-earned money, cook for myself, manage my own bedtime, and try not to drink myself into oblivion to cope with it all on a daily basis, a very real struggle. To give you a picture of what my life is like under the surface... 

This is what my phone looks like.

This is what my bedroom looks like.

This is what the laptop I'm typing on looks like.

This is how I deal with all of the above.

I'm on a quest to better my adulting skills, and very slowly, after 4 years of being in the big bad, grown up world, and in what I'm pretty sure is the most expensive city on the face of planet earth, I'm learning how to manage the challenging things adult life throws at me. 

My first piece of advice to anyone around my age would be do not move out. Live with your parents for as long as feasibly possible. Get a job, and get some savings.

If you must move out, my second piece of advice would be do not get a cat. Like I did.

If you must get a cat, do not get a tortoiseshell cat. Like I did. They're mental. Google it.

If you must get a tortoiseshell cat, do this. 

My next piece of advice would be do not get Tinder. It costs you. It costs you money by eating up your data like a fat kid eats up cake. And inevitably that means you pay for more data because its 2015 and if you can't use Facebook on the commute to work, then what the fuck else can you do. Look out the bus window? No. It costs you self confidence because you don't understand how after your 700th Tinder date nobody has fallen in love with you and immediately proposed. HELLO HAVE YOU SEEN ME, I HAVE A CAT AND I OWN LIKE 4 DIFFERENT BEDSPREADS. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT. And finally it costs you more in money because chivalry is dead and the dude is probably going to expect you to pay for half of dinner and get at least 3 rounds of drinks.

Just kidding about that last bit, I'm all for girl power - I don't actually think gals need to be paid for by a guy, but not going on dates at all eliminates the need to spend money on some douche bag who only wants a blow job.

My final piece of advice: ASDA is bae. 

I came to London as a complete supermarket snob, having grown up in a family that only shopped in Sainsbury's and Marks and Sparks (as my Mum used to call it). ASDA was a no go. It was for Jeremy Kyle rejects and the homeless. Now I will never, ever shop anywhere else. Why would you spend £5 on tea bags when you can get them for 50p? Why go to three different shops for a chicken pasty, a bath mat and a chlamydia test when you can get all three at ASDA? Trust me, even if you're moving from Buckinghamshire where ASDA isn't even part of your vocabulary, it will save your sorry twenty-something life.

So, here we are at the end of post one. I've started this blog to try and get my shit together, and maybe help some other people in my position do the same. I'm a fan of many of the finer things in life; salmon, gin, avocados (also bae), MAC, Topshop, eating out and many, many other things I can't afford. So I'm going to try my best to be savvier with my dolla, and hopefully help you all to be too.

Laters babes x